I posted over in the sherlockbbc community about compiling quotes from the show into one, easy-to-access place. To avoid cluttering up the entry, I've posted the list over here.
Thank you so much to everybody who provided a quote!
So, at the moment I am frantically trying to title all of my entries with quotes from Sherlock - the only problem being that I have a terrible memory for quotes and similar things unless I have literally just watched something.
So I put it to you, dear friends, that we should try and collect as many of our favourite quotes as possible - if you comment on this entry I'll edit them into the post (under a cut), so that future generations will have instant access to quotes in a way we could only have dreamed of.
QUOTES: "SHERLOCK" (BBC)
1.01 "A Study in Pink"
"Oh, look at you lot. You're all so vacant. Is it nice not being me? It must be so relaxing."
"Dear God, what is it like in your funny little brains? It must be so boring!"
"I'm not a psychopath, I'm a highly functioning sociopath. Do your research."
-- Sherlock (to Anderson)
"We've got a serial killer! Love those, there's always something to look forward to."
"Mrs Hudson took my skull."
Donovan: "Are these human eyes?"
Sherlock: "Put those back!"
Donovan: "They were in the microwave!"
Sherlock: "It's an experiment!"
Sherlock: "Shut up."
Lestrade: "I didn't say anyth-- "
Sherlock: "You were thinking. It's annoying."
"Anderson, don't talk out loud, you lower the IQ of the entire street."
Sherlock: "Shut up everybody, shut up! Don't move, don't speak, don't breathe, I'm trying to think. Anderson, face the other way, you're putting me off."
Anderson: "What, my face is?"
Lestrade: "Everyboody, quiet. Anderson, turn your back."
Anderson: "Oh, for God's sake..."
Lestrade: "Your back! Now, please!"
John: "That...was amazing."
Sherlock: "Do you think so?"
John: "Of course it was, it was extraordinary. It was quite extraordinary."
Sherlock: "That's not what people normally say."
John: "What do people normally say?"
Sherlock: "Piss off."
John: "That's fantastic!"
Sherlock: "Do you know you do that out loud?"
John: "Sorry, I'll shut up."
Sherlock: "No, it's... fine."
John: "You have a girlfriend?"
Sherlock: "Girls not really my area."
John: "Oh...so do you have a boyfriend? Which is fine."
Sherlock: "I know it's fine."
John: "So you have a boyfriend."
John: "Oh, okay. So you're unattatched then. Just like me. Fine, good."
Sherlock: "... John, erm... I think you should know that I consider myself married to my work, and while I'm flattered I'm not really looking for any-- "
John: "No, no, that's not what I... no! I'm just saying... it's all fine."
Sherlock: "... Good. Thank you."
"The game, Mrs Hudson, is on."
Sherlock: "A friend?"
John: "Well, an enemy."
Sherlock: "Oh! Which one?"
John: "Where did you get this? Detective Inspector Lestrade?"
Sherlock: "I pickpocket him when he's annoying."
"We can't giggle, it's a crime scene."
John: "This is how you get your kicks, isn't it? You risk your life to prove you're clever."
Sherlock: "Why would I do that?"
John: "Because you're an idiot."
"And since yesterday you've moved in with him and now you're solving crimes together. Might we expect a happy announcement by the end of the week?"
Sherlock: "If you were dying, if you were murdered, in the very last seconds, what would you say?"
John: "Please God, let me live."
Sherlock: "Use your imagination."
John: "I don't have to."
"Look, I'm in shock, I have a blanket."
1.02 "The Blind Banker"
"I'm the great Sherlock Holmes, I work alone 'cause no one can compete with my massive intellect!"
Sherlock: "I need to get some air, we're going out tonight."
John: "Actually, I've uh, got a date."
John: "It's where two people who like each other go out and have fun."
Sherlock: "That's what I was suggesting."
1.03 "The Great Game"
Sherlock: "Just tell me what happened from the beginning."
Barry: "We've been to a bar, a nice place, and I was chattin' with one of the waitresses and Karen weren't happy with that, so we got back to the hotel and ended up having a bit of a ding dong, didn't we? She was gettin' at me, saying I weren’t a real man-- "
Sherlock: "It’s not weren’t, it’s wasn’t."
Sherlock: "Go on."
Barry: "Well, then I don’t know how it happened but suddenly there's a knife in my hands. And you know, my old man was a butcher so I know how to handle knives. He learned us how to cut up a piece-- "
Sherlock: "Taught you how to cut up a piece."
Barry: "Yeah, well, then I done it."
Sherlock: "Did it."
Barry: "I stabbed her over and over and over and I looked at her and she weren’t-- ... wasn't movin' no more. Any more."
Barry: "Hey, you gotta help me, Mr. Holmes! Everyone says you're the best. Without you... I'll get hung for this."
Sherlock: "No, no, Mr. Bewick, not at all. Hanged, yes."
John: "There's a head in the fridge. A bloody head!"
Sherlock: "Where else was I supposed to put it?"
John: "A severed head!"
Sherlock: "Just tea for me, thanks."
John: "What the hell are you doing?!"
He shoots the wall.
Sherlock: "Bored! I don't know what's gotten into the criminal classes, good job I'm not one of them."
John: "So you take it out on the wall?"
Sherlock: "Oh, the wall had it coming."
"Oh hell, what does it matter?! So we go round the sun - if we went round the moon or... round and round the garden like a teddy bear, it wouldn't make any difference."
Sherlock: "Look at that, Mrs. Hudson. Quiet, calm, peaceful... isn't it hateful?"
Mrs. Hudson: "Oh, I'm sure something will turn up, Sherlock. A nice murder, that'll cheer you up."
Sherlock: "You read his blog?"
Lestrade: "'Course I read his blog, we all do! Do you really not know that the earth goes around the sun?"
Lestrade: "But what's this got to do with that painting? I don't see-- "
Sherlock: "You do see, you just don't observe!"
John: "Alright! Alright, girls, calm down."
Lestrade: "And happy new year."
"Oh, so you meant spectacularly ignorant in a nice way."
John: "So why is he doing this then? Playing this game with you? Do you think he wants to be caught?"
Sherlock: "I think he wants to be distracted."
John: "Well, I hope you'll be very happy together."
Sherlock: "...sorry, what?"
John: "There are lives at stake, Sherlock! Actual human lives! Just so I know, do you care about that at all?"
Sherlock: "Would caring about them help to save them?"
Sherlock: "Then I'll continue not to make that mistake."
John: "And you find that easy, do you?"
Sherlock: "Yes, very. Is that news to you?"
John: "No... no."
Sherlock: "... I've disappointed you."
John: "It's good. It's a good deduction, yes."
Sherlock: "Don't make people into heroes, John: heroes don't exist, and if they did I wouldn't be one of them."
Sherlock: "Homeless network. Really is indispensable."
John: "Homeless network...?"
Sherlock: "My eyes and ears all over the city."
John: "Oh, yes, clever, so you...scratch their backs and-- "
Sherlock: "Yes, and then disinfect myself."
"Let him go or I will kill you."
-- John (to the Golem)
"Why does anyone do anything? Because I'm bored. We were made for each other, Sherlock."
-- Jim Moriarty (through victim #2)
Jim Moriarty: "I will burn the heart out of you."
Sherlock: "I have been reliably informed that I don't have one."
Jim Moriarty: "Oh, but we both know that's not quite true."
Sherlock: "People have died."
Jim Moriarty: "That's what people do!"
John: "You, ripping off my clothes in a darkened swimming pool. People might talk."
Sherlock: "People do little else."
(gif courtesy of fatherleary)